- Thoughts are like a spider web, sticky. Don’t interfere with a spider web, trying to improve it. See it, appreciate it’s beauty, thank it, and go on with your day. Same with thoughts.
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The central idea of ACT, as we’ve discussed, is that we need to ACCEPT our current reality along with the important fact that life is SUPPOSED to be challenging and that it will inevitably (!) involve plenty of pain THEN we need to COMMIT to living a life in integrity with our values (or what we’d call virtues).
Now…
One of the key differentiators of his approach and one of the reasons it’s so successful is that he doesn’t think we need to change our thoughts per se.
He thinks we need to simply NOTICE our thoughts and not let them stop us from living a life of meaning.
And…
The metaphor he uses to make his point brings us back to the Johnson trail.
Steven tells us that trying to rearrange and change our thoughts is a lot like trying to organize a spider’s web so it “looks neater.”
To state the obvious…
All that’s going to happen when you try to optimize a spider web is that you’re going to get your fingers all sticky and you’ll get entangled with the web.
(Right?)
Steven says…
THE SAME THING HAPPENS WITH OUR THOUGHTS.
The more we try to control and change them, the more entangled we get in them.
The antidote?
Just NOTICE them.
Then get on with your life.
We’ll talk about one of the ways I’ve been practicing that in the next +1.
For now…
The next time you find yourself trapped in your own thinking…
Remember the spider web.
And just NOTICE your thoughts and how sticky they can be.
Then…
Think of ONE virtue that’s important to you and think about how you can embody that virtue just a little more in that moment.
Then…
Let the thought go and GO DO SOMETHING that would be the demonstration of that virtue.
Repeat.
Every time the opportunity arises.
All day.
Every day.
Especially…
TODAY.
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When the voice in my head starts talking, I’m having fun simply NOTICING it (always the most important first step—so we don’t get caught up in it!) then simply LABELING whatever it is that I’m thinking about.
Maybe I’m “planning” or “comparing” or “criticizing” or any range of things that might take me out of the moment I’m in.
I notice the thought. Then I label the thought.
Then I repeat the label THREE times.
“Planning. Planning. Planning.”
“Comparing. Comparing. Comparing.”
“Criticizing. Criticizing. Criticizing.”
Steven tells us that when we take a super simple action like that, we “defuse” from the thoughts in our minds that tend to take us OUT OF the present moment.
By assuming that “observer” perspective, we avoid getting stuck in the (typically negative) thought loop and GET BACK INTO living fully in the present moment.
It’s a really powerful micro tool.
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